Being Relational

One of our core values as a student ministry is being relational. We believe firmly that if relationships are not being formed, ministry is not happening. Just look at Jesus, he spent most of his ministry building relationships with his disciples and others. Why? Why would he spend most of his life building relationships? Shouldn't he have been going around preaching or healing the sick? No, because Jesus knew that in order to make the biggest impact you must love people and spend time with them.

So, I wanted to give you a few tips on how to be more relational as a life group leader.

1. Come early and leave late - Dont show up right when service is starting and leave right when it is over. If you do this you are wasting valuable time that you could be using to spend with one or more of your students outside of the life group setting. I found out really quick that students don't usually open up that well in a group setting. But man if you wait till after class or grab them 30 minutes before and ask them simple questions like:"How's family life going? How's school? What is driving you nuts right now? What's one thing I can pray for you about?" These types of questions really open up for some good times of discussion and teachable moments. But if you ask those in a life group setting, students are going to do one of two things, their going to give a one word answer (ok, fine, good) or they are going to make it a joke to get others to laugh and help them not feel so uncomfortable. Making time before and after Life Groups is so key to building relationships.
2. Connect during the week - You want to blow a student away, call them during the week (or text them). Students think you are just doing your job as a life group leader if you only talk to them during life groups. But if you connect with them during the week, whether it is through text, a phone call, or hanging out, man a bond starts to be built that is hard to break.  Jesus purposefully walked hundreds of miles just so he could have an hour conversation with the woman at the well. Lets follow the lead of Christ and take time out of our week to start changing lives of students. You cannot expect your students to open up to you if you are not willing to open up your schedule for them. 
3. Carry a pen and pad - How often do we forget names, prayer requests, other things students have told us? A lot, right. Well I found that if you write them down after you have that conversation, and then go over them when your at home, it is hard to forget. And man, when you see that student next week and you remember what they told you, it boggles their mind. I remember praying for a student because he was worried about a test. I saw him two weeks later and asked him how his test went. He replied, "Oh my gosh, you remembered that?" He was totally blown away that I actually cared enough to remember his worries and problems. This opened up a huge door to pour into his life and show the love of Christ to him. Don't expect students to tell you their problems if you cant remember them. So write them down, it helps.